movie session

heyz...haven been blogging...has been busy watching shows i guess...and its really time to start studying!!!!i am so lagging behind...and i really cant take it so i came here to vent out...today went with the clique to watch movie...well...went there and expect myself to be happy to see them since i haven met up with them for a long time...erm...maybe quite sometime...not as long...but they hardly meet up nowadays and i do not know the reason and today then i knew why...when i got there...erm...geline was talking to her uni clique including sr...huh?i tot sr is suppose to join us but in the end she onli smiled at me when she saw me...i really dunnoe what happen to our sort of friendship...arent we suppose to be gd frens (like in sec sch?)but well...i guess bfs are definitely better than frens rite?i really tot i am out of the place when i went for today's movie...nobody talks to me and everybody seems to become couples in our clique...Is frenship just a smile when u see them?i really think our clique wont be as before..i guess...as mom sae...we wont stay together forever...after everyone starts to have bfs or family...thats the end of our frenship i guess...in the past i always innocently believe tht we could stay together even if we each got our own life...but i think thats not the way now.i really dun like this feeling...back to the movie...when i reach vivo,they were actually finishing up food and i saw w leaving and taking food for ms a...i tot it was nothing but pure care and i got this conclusion in my mind when mr w say nv intro ms a's fren, ying to him.mr w has always tot her to be pretty so i tot he like her..as u know...guys like to see pretty girls yea...this all seems to be normal(as in like the normal movie outings we had).ms a got 4 tickets discount coupon for movie and she want to keep at least 1...i tot that was not the usual actions of ms a cos she usually doesnt take and will give it to the rest...but today she wanted to take all if nobody want...i guess thats becos she could get discount when she go for movies with mr w rite?in the cinema...mr w and ms a sat one sit apart and the rest ask ms j to change place...i really tot they were just jking abt ms a and mr w so i didnt think it was anything...later after watching finish...mr w passed his water to ms a cos he heard ms a coughing...i really tot that wasnt anything cos they have been this gd in the past...and then came an incident...ms a fall when coming out from the cinema...and mr w happen to grab her...so coincident??and mr w even touch her and help her see whether she got injured or not and care for her...i shd have realise it that time that they were together...but it was onli after that when we were walking to take bus that ms j mentioned...if not i am really kept in the dark and unaware of things happening to my frens...one of the reason that i do not know they r together i guess is cos they still dun wan announce...although they dun say...i think ppl have eyes to see bahz...the ironic thing is that this relationship b/w ms a and mr w is really unexpected...i dunnoe why ppl ard me have ppl beside them to care for them and my whole sec sch clique which i like to hang out with is becoming like strangers to me...1stly,qm and sr become a couple and i guess i was the last to noe...and now yy and wf...haiz...why are all the rich and gd guys in my clique all attached to the gers in my clique?i really dun understand...i guess i was a bit jealous though...i was starting to feel like a stranger ard them...today onli 4 gers went and sr and ms a are attached and ms j is nv lacked of guys...why am i the onli pathetic 1?i also yearn to have someone caring for me...but when will i find 1 that is gd and nice to me?and i am getting worried of growing older and without someone by ur side...that will be a terrible thing...why are the gers in my grp so fortunate?and i am the onli unfortunate 1...sob sob... :_( now...talking abt the gers in my sec sch...gladys and py had got bf long ago so thts that has got no effects on me cos still got ppl whom i can stick with...now..sr and tr and sara and karen and jy all had bf...onli left with emay and me in the grp...and even emay have some1 whom likes her i guess...so....i am the onli pathetic person ard bahz...really hope to find my mr right soon... :( and my biggest wish is to have my frens back...i wan us to be like before when we had movie sessions...haiz...everything changes so quickly...the onli thing i can say is that i really dun like the clique...they always leave me out and now even more obvious...they always say i am quiet but i actually isnt...jus tht i am shy and dun dare to talk....is that the reason why i haven got a bf?really hope god can help e and kindly giv me a gd and better a gd looking husband...but i guess tht shd be impossible since i myself also think i am not the type guys will like and wan to woo...feeling very terrible...